Saying "No."

Customer Service Announcement: 

If I tell you I won't do some "little" favor for you, please know that I'm not being inconsiderate or rude and that I do care, it is just that I am trying to put myself and my family first.  Something "little" to a healthy person can be a herculean task to someone with debilitating illness.  I don't have extra to give, but I would if I could. 
On my "low" days, simply standing up can drain my energy reservoir as if I'd just walked a mile.  And even on "high" days, I am running on sub-optimal levels and generally have to play catch up for what went undone during my "lows," or (heaven forbid) try to do something fun for myself or my kids. 

I'm trying to learn how to set boundaries and realize my changing limitations, which is hard for someone who doesn't know how to say "no."  I literally feel guilty telling people I won't help.  I don't know why that is, but it is.  And saying "no" is even harder when the people that know I am sick don't recognize my limitations and keep asking more of me.  I feel guilty when I do use energy on doing something for myself, or having fun with the kids now and then.  We can use an example from this week of going to the 4th of July parade.  It was technically "unnecessary" to spend that energy, even if it was for a good cause (ie my kids, who don't get to do all the things kids with healthy, active parents get to do).  Friday I can try to recouperate some, but we'll have to clean house because it didn't get taken care of on the 4th.  Then Saturday is the farmer's market that I've agreed to be a part of and already invested time and money in.  The set-up and vending will take almost the entire day for me.  This is a good cause, something I enjoy, and helps bring in money...yet can also be viewed as unnecessary.  So if Sunday rolls around and I'm too exhausted to attend church, I will feel guilty and force myself to go when I physically should not, and when doing so could cause a cascade effect of further lack of energy, getting even more behind, etc.

So please, STOP assuming I'll do some "little" thing for you, and PLEASE stop asking.  I don't know if I'll be able to say "No" but I can tell you now that that should be the answer.