Superman has it WORSE!

*Share* comment and tag that person who thinks life is bad.  Things could always be worse.

-Random Facebook post.

I don't even know where to start. Luckily I wasn't tagged or I'd probably have ruptured a gasket...but this SO rubs me the wrong way.  I've heard this many times in my few decades of life.  I've heard it said to others.  I've heard it said to me.  Heck, I've probably even said it myself (hopefully I was teasing).

 If you've ever been told this by someone else, I ask:  Did it make you feel better?  

Suffering is suffering.  Does it even matter who has it worse?  Do you feel pleasure knowing someone else is suffering more?  Does someone else's suffering negate your own?  Does knowing someone just had a leg amputation make your headache go away or increase your coping skills?

What qualifies someone to judge whose suffering is worse, anyway?  Can you ever truly know what another is going through?  Why are we judging and comparing to begin with?  That is what it is, well-meant or not (though it generally comes from a self-serving place).

What you say:
"Superman has it WAY worse than you do!"

What the other person hears is a mixture of: 
"You are a whiny wimp!"  
"Your feelings don't matter."
"I don't care."
"I don't want to hear it."  
"If only you were as good as Superman, I might be a better friend."

Would hearing those make you feel better?  No, it would make you feel worse!

That said, introspectively deciding to stay strong because you are inspired by the strength you see in another is a completely different thing and can be very helpful.   Notice I said "Introspectively," meaning the dialog is wholly within the person suffering and it isn't a dialog with or forced by another.

So, what should you say instead?  How about:
"I'm sorry this is so hard for you."
"Can I help?"
"That must be difficult."
"I hope things improve for you soon."
"Stupid Kryptonite!  I hate it too."

If you want to share videos or articles about others' suffering, try using it to uplift by showing how someone copes or thrives despite obstacles.  Don't use them as a measuring stick for hardship and a way to demean others.  How do you think THEY feel about this scenario?  Talk about kicking someone when they're down...  (Sorry Lex Luthor!)